when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
