ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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