if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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