im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
