you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
