Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
i've created a new STD.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
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