They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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