that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Randomize
