she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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