If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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