you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
