Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
