Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
