You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I just want nice things and good sex
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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