You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
