i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
high people should be assigned attendants
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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