I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize