Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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