My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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