go do what you do best...puke behind churches
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
