just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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