Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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