Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize