i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
