I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
The struggles of a small town man whore
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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