they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
