Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize