did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
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