Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize