There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
