Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
