I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
