ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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