operation have a gay friend backfired
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
