its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
