the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
