What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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