Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
They took my balls.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
