I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
