he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
