that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
