the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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