Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
