if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
