I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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