A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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