I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize