nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
