i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
