You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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