she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize