i barfeds in our rink
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize