Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
