the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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