her facebook's as public as her vagina
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
