I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
