I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
