What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
